Ding Dong the Witch is Dead
by Raychel
Summary: A horribly stupid one shot about our new ADA... who suddenly drops dead... oops. Re-write? I don't think soooo. It's rated T and it's really stupid... but if you hate the new ADA READ. Thanks Alexis for asking me to write this!


AN: Someone asked me to do this… so if you hate it… let me know… however you might love it lol…

AN: Someone asked me to do this… so if you hate it… let me know… however you might love it lol…. It's very random.

"I'm bored." Olivia Benson said, tapping her pen on her desk as she looked at her partner Elliot Stabler.

"You're bored? I'm playing hearts." Elliot sighed.

"Any cases?" ADA Kim Greyleck's voice rang out as she entered the dead squad room.

"No."

"Nope…"

"Nothing." It was like a chorus and Kim just looked at all of the detectives. A phone rang and Olivia and Elliot dove for it, the same time John Munch and Tutuola Fin did as well.

"Benson!" Olivia threw up a fist in the air as if victory and the men brooded, "Um no… no this is not Jimmy's Jon's lube shop… sorry." Olivia hung up the phone, "Wrong number."

"So who is on call tonight?" Kim asked, rolling her eyes at the officers.

"The captain was talking about give all of us-" The phone rang again, cutting John off and he answered it, "A kidnapping near which park? No…. uh huh…." John got a pen a pen. After a few minutes he hung up, "We've got a kidnapping near Central park."

"We'll go." Fin said as Olivia and Elliot said at the same time.

"My god why don't you kids just pick straws?" Kim snorted at them, "By the way I'm coming along."

"Why?" Elliot groaned, "Haven't you done enough damage? You're making me lose hair."

"Hello? A case guys, we have a case." John put his jacket on.

"So we'll all go?" Olivia asked.

"The captain will call us if he needs us." Elliot told her and she nodded.

"I'm coming along." Kim sang out.

"My car won't hold your big head, sorry." Elliot told her sweetly.

"Oh look, it has a sense of humor." Kim glared at Elliot as they all left the precinct to get into Elliot's car.

"Why does Liv always get shotgun?" John asked as Elliot unlocked the car.

"Because I have dibs on it, duh." Olivia told him.

"So am I sitting in the middle?" Kim asked.

"Or the hood." Elliot said.

"Ok Stabler, you wanna go at it? Lets go." Kim walked over to him and he just looked at her in amusement.

"What are you going to do? Crusade me to death?" Elliot snickered.

"No! I'll tell you what I'm going to do… I'm going to… to…" But Kim started to hyperventilate.

"Woah, you ok?" Fin asked her.

"No… I feel… I… I feel strange." And Kim collapsed leaving all of the detectives to just stare.

"It wasn't me!" Elliot cried out.

"Is she breathing?" Olivia asked and Fin checked.

"You better wash that ear." John told him and Fin hit him in the leg.

"No, she aint breathing…"

"Wow… is someone going to drive her home? She looks totally wasted." A woman who looked drunk herself pointed to Kim as her friends helped her walk.

"Pulse?" Olivia asked shrilly.

"The bitch is dead." Fin said blandly.

"I'm sorry what?" Elliot asked.

"She aint breathing, she aint got no pulse… the bitch is DEAD." Fin scoffed and stood up.

"But how?" John asked.

"Man do I look psychic to you?" Fin asked.

"Well we should call someone." Elliot said, but noone did a thing.

"Maybe she was poisoned." Olivia said out of nowhere.

"What?!"

"Well think about it… she's an ADA from Special Victims and she's-"

"A pain in the ass?" Elliot offered.

"I'm sorry but are going to call anyone?" John asked.

"No." Elliot said quickly.

"NO?" The other three cried out.

"We just you know… um… find a nice dumpster or something…"

"Elliot Stabler!" Olivia gaped at him.

"Have a heart man! We could go to the river." John suggested.

"I'm calling a bus." Olivia pulled out her phone.

"Hey! No… there will be no calling of anyone!" Elliot insisted and Olivia bopped him on the head.

"We could go to prison!"

"For what?"

"I don't know… witnessing a death and not saying anything?"

"Liv, we weren't here." John told her.

"What?" Olivia said blankly.

"We never saw Kim." Fin added.

"Oh don't get all I know what you did last summer on me, you guys this is serious!"

"Ok, we'll vote." Elliot said sternly, "Everyone in favor of dumping the body raise their hand." His shot up first, then fin's and finally Munches.

"Three against one Liv." John told her.

"Well let's atleast move her to the alley." Olivia sighed and they all nodded. There was a crack and Fin cringed.

"Oops, didn't mean to break her arm."

"Be careful!" Olivia hissed and they set her down on a pile of garbage.

"So now what?" John asked Elliot.

"We-" But he was stopped in mid-sentence when a brick came from above and hit Kim on the head, causing her to fall over.

"Really?" Elliot said.

"What the hell?"

"Ok so… now it does look like a crime scene." Olivia groaned, "Ok, let's atleast call someone after we leave."

"We'll have to go to a payphone." John offered.

"Fine, payphone it is, on the other side of the city… John what the hell are you doing to her face?" Olivia asked as John took out a sharpie.

"What, you act like you've never seen a sharpie before." John told her.

"Oh put a mustache on her man and those whisker things." Fin said excitedly.

"This is so wrong." Olivia sighed.

"Oh come on Liv, you can't admit that you're not just a little bit happy that the wicked witch is dead?"

"It's not that…" Olivia sighed and shook her head, acting really upset.

"Liv you ok?" Fin asked her and Elliot went to her side.

"It just seems so wrong that…"

"What? What?"

"That Casey isn't here." Olivia smiled and took out her cell phone.

"Oh my god you scared me." John told her. Olivia hit speed dial three and she froze when a cell phone rang from above.

"Shit!" A woman hissed.

"Casey?!" All four of them look up to see their old ADA and still good friend.

"Oh hey guys… um what's up? I'm just you know… hangin'."

"She was dead before you dropped the brick Case." Olivia told her and Casey raised an eyebrow.

"Really? How??"

"Poisoned…" Olivia smiled.

"Liv…" Elliot looked at her.

"Oh come on El, you know how much we all hate her."

"But—"

"Hey Case you up for drinks?"

"Just one sec Liv, I've got," Casey paused, "Paint." An opened bucket of paint fell onto Kim, causing her to go all white, "A small grenade, everyone run for cover." BOOM, "And some gasoline." Casey disappeared and met the others down in the allyway.

"You two planned this?" Elliot asked them.

"Well duh." Casey smiled as the gang exchanged hugs.

"So are we dumping the body before drinks?"

"I say we bury her." Olivia said.

"Where?"

"I'm sure there's an open grave hanging out somewhere." Casey smirked.

"Alright off to the graveyard and then drinks." Elliot said as they went back to Kim's body.

"So whose buying?" Casey asked.

"I am." John smiled and they all wrapped Kim in a sheet that appeared out of thin air and took her to an open grave, covering her up some.

"Anyone wanna say a few words?" Fin asked, clearing his throat.

"Oh me, me!" Olivia waved her hand.

"Liv."

"Ding Dong the witch is dead…"

Now some of you are going to hate this story while the other 99.9 percent love it. You guys wanted a Kimbies dying story… it was quick and ridiculous… bam.

REVIEW.


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